I read an interesting piece not too long ago, which inspired me to write this article. The mistakes you are making come from a bad attitude in your children and you, conflicting perspectives and views of your kids, and goals that you disagree with and will not encourage. You may not have hesitated to let your child know that you disagree. Perhaps you have been too vocal about your dislike about their talking to a particular friend. Perhaps you have ceased their cell phone or tablet or use a mobile monitoring app and you have lost respect and trust.
Have you been feeling angry, whiny, and emotionally disturbed by your children’s’ lack of respect for you? Have you taken the time to analyze why you are in this situation? Have you given it a thought that maybe, it is because of some shortcomings from your part as a parent? Perhaps you have not been a very good parent. Yes, there may be something lacking in your parenting approach.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
There are no written rules about parenting, and the truth is that you have to discover how to be a good parent on your own. You have to face the experiences and challenges of parenting to refine your parenting skills. However, your actions will speak louder than words. Do not forget that your child will grow into a reflection of you, and will attain a reputation in the society based on your teachings.
When you notice something is wrong with your kids, even if they have made a mistake, how you approach it is crucial. If you constantly enforce your rules on kids, they become rebellious. When you show distrust or a harsh reaction, they start to hide things and lie about everything. Eventually, some kids start stealing and lying. Your child acts like this because he or she feels distrust and feels that you will not understand or support his or her personality.
How to Be a Better Parent without Using a Mobile Monitoring App
By identifying the ten wrongs in your parenting, you can make changes to improve. Here’s a list of things that you need to evaluate your parenting approach:
- Parenting Mistake 1: You Overreact
Your child has started lying to you because he or she knows you will overreact. Children would prefer to avoid tension and problems, and resort to the easy way out, which is lying.
- Parenting Mistake 2: You Do Not Listen to Your Children
Whenever your kids come to you to complain or inform you about something, you don’t listen. After numerous attempts, your child will stop sharing and stop listening to you. If you can correct this, you won’t need a mobile monitoring app to know their secrets.
- Parenting Mistake 3: You Do Not Encourage or Guide Your Children
You do not waste time to discourage your children from anything. At the same time, you do not encourage them when they achieve something good. If you do this, your child will start keeping secrets and become detached.
- Parenting Mistake 4: You Insult Your Child Publically
When your child needs correcting, you insult them in front of siblings or in an open place. This will instill poor self-esteem in your child. It will shake their confidence and they will stop attempting to achieve anything in life.
- Parenting Mistake 5: You Believe in Punishing Kids for Bad Behavior
You believe in negative reinforcement. This is why your children avoid you and keep secrets of their mistakes.
- Parenting Mistake 6: You Discourage Your Kids from Choosing What they Want
Not letting your child have the freedom to choose is a bad practice. This leads to your child stealing things he or she wants because they know you will never give them.
- Parenting Mistake 7: You Compare Them with Others, Encouraging Jealousy
Do not compare your kids with others. This instills jealous emotions and leads kids to act in unwanted and negative ways. It makes them feel less than others, hurting their self-esteem by highlighting their shortcomings.
- Parenting Mistake 8: You Don’t Let Your Kids to Deal with Consequences
Rescuing your child is a good thing, but at the same time, it is necessary to let them deal with consequences. Otherwise, your child will become a coward.
- Parenting Mistake 9: You Don’t Handle Your Kids with Love
If you don’t show your kids empathy or compassion, they will grow heartless and apathetic.
- Parenting Mistake 10: You are Often Rude to Your Children
If your child is rude, then it means that you have taught them to be rude. Kids use their parents as an example.
Check yourself and start making positive changes in you so that they can learn good things from you.